Cul-De-Sac Killers: Love And Murder In A Half Circle
by dshell99
Summary: Kevin and Edd are killers who meet on the road. Love and blood bind them. Will it consume them? Serial Killer AU. Disclaimer: I do not own Ed, Edd and Eddy. I only own my plot.
**Author's Note: Because I have _zero_ self control! Sybrann suggested a KevEdd serial killer AU and then I came up with this. _I regret nothing!_**

It started out so simply really. A blissful childhood. Easy going adolescence. But a lifetime of having the media shove all sorts of twisted images into their young minds, absent minded parents and way too much free time, and suddenly boredom gave way to wanting to _feel_ something _more_.

By high school, there wasn't a critter on the block. Birds of prey nested _high_ in the trees. And yet, he wanted _more_.

When he graduated, he left. There was nothing more for him here and his parents were too broke to help with college. He was better off on the road. He'd always had a strong body and even sharper mind. He got good work being a day laborer. But _humanity_ just didn't appreciate his efforts. And soon, he couldn't silence the voices in his head that told him to make things _right._

The first was a bar tramp in Albuquerque. She was too drunk to satisfy him and it turned him off. She accused him of being gay. He didn't mind that. As far as he could tell, he was bi and he was OK with that. It was being called a "punk ass ginger," that set him off. And snapping her neck was so easy. Dumping her body in the dumpster behind his seedy motel was even easier.

And suddenly, Kevin Barr felt _free._

When he got to Vegas, it was nothing for him to pick up guys and dolls and dump them off, used and abused. They were society's trash, no one would care if they said anything, so they never did. The ones that had the nerve to fight back, he quickly did away with. His strong, leather gloved hands on their throats proved his worth over theirs.

Before he headed to LA, he got a gun. It just seemed safer that way. On the way to the City of Angels, he spotted him. He was sitting on the side of the road, a lone messenger bag by his side. He seemed so young and innocent. Pale skin glowed in the late afternoon _Indian Summer_ sunlight. And as he pulled to a stop on the side of the road the kid was sitting on, he flashed gapped tooth grin that got Kevin's motor running. But it was the black eye he was sporting that pissed him off. Someone touched him before he could.

Kevin would make sure that _that_ would _never_ happen again.

"What's your name, Kid?"

"Edd. Eddward Vincent. Two D's. Most call me Double D."

"Get in."

Once Edd was settled in, Kevin took off.

"Where you headed?"

 _"Anywhere but here."_

Kevin brought him to LA and they basically just hung out and got to know one another. Edd had the same sort of idyllic childhood he had. But the kids at school were _the_ _worst. No one_ appreciated his genius. Graduation Day was a week ago and his biggest bully, a kid named Jonny, had thought it was still a good idea to bully the smart ravenette.

"What happened?," Kevin asked.

"He won't bother _anyone_ anymore," Edd said dreamily.

Kevin didn't know whether to be turned on or frightened. He gave into his hormones. Kid was too damn intriguing for him not to.

When they made it to San Francisco, things got tense. One night, they were sitting in the car in the parking lot of another seedy hotel. Kevin always had the gun out when they came to places like this. Edd remained dutifully quiet about it. It was just another unspoken thing they dealt with. Kevin would take day jobs and Edd would pass out flyers for any business willing to pay him in cash under the table for the work. They'd go to a hotel for the night, eat bad fast food, sleep, get up and do it all again before Kevin got the urge to pack up and get back on the road.

Then a homeless guy banged on the passenger side window _and they_ _both reached for the gun_. Their fingers brushed together and sparks _flew._ Kevin quickly swept Edd up into his lap as Edd hit the button to lower the window.

 _Murderous blue met killer green._

Edd brought Kevin's chin up and the redhead smirked. Edd grinned into the passionate kiss he gave him as Kevin fired the gun.

When Edd broke the kiss apart, they both saw the same thing in each other's eyes.

 _Lust, desire, fear, mistrust. And the sparks of love and heartbreak._

Kevin took a tarp out of the trunk and followed Edd's lead in cleaning the mess up. When they dumped the body in the dumpster behind the hotel, Kevin threw Edd up against the wall.

"If you're gonna kill me, at least fuck me first."

Kevin sighed and rolled his eyes.

"You're too cute for that."

"Then whaMmmm."

Kevin kissing him again chased Edd's fear for his own demise away. For the moment.

They stayed in a nicer hotel that night, as the homeless guy had a good chunk of cash on him. And Kevin _made love_ to his _partner in crime._ And so it began. They drove up an down the west coast, working, killing _anyone_ that so much as simply _annoyed_ them and falling harder for each other and deeper in love than they both knew they should.

One day, as they sat on a picnic table on the beach in San Diego, eating In N Out, Kevin took a good look at Edd and sighed. The kid deserved better, but he hadn't left Kevin's side. Kevin needed to keep him, if only because he knew _all_ of Kevin's deepest, darkest secrets.

"We need to stop, Edd."

"I know," Edd said softly.

"I have an idea."

"I'm listening."

"We head up to Peach Creek in Washington state. Remember that town with the candy factory? We can go there. Start over."

"We're stopping off in Vegas first, though," Edd said with a small smile.

 _"Choice."_

Between San Diego and Peach Creek, they made a _killing_ in souvenirs. It was enough to pay for their drive thru wedding, the trip up North to Peach Creek and the first and last month's rent for a small ranch house in a cul-de-sac in Peach Creek.

And things were quiet. For a time.

First, a blue haired piece of trailer park trash wouldn't stop harassing Edd. But she had two equally trashy sisters, so they had to go, too. Then their blond neighbor wouldn't stop flirting with Kevin. And the bitch had the nerve to _not_ go quietly. Edd had never been more grateful for their basement's fall out shelter in his life.

Kevin's prick of a manager and the idiot foreman decided that the good looking machinist was the only thing standing between them and dates at the bar and not their lack of manners, decency and decorum. So they'd give him crazy shifts and Edd had _had it_. It was a dinner party that Kevin and Edd would _never_ forget.

When their new neighbors became too annoying with their _drop-by's_ and invitations to visit, Edd _insisted_ that _something_ be done.

"Kevin, I _swear_ on my dissecting table, that if that _piss ant_ Jimmy stops by _one more time_ during my meditation hour...!"

Kevin cuddled him close.

"The weather is supposed to be nice this weekend. How about a BBQ?"

 _Homicidal blue met manic green._

 _"I love you,"_ Edd _breathed_ out as he brought Kevin in for a _searing_ kiss.

"Love you more."

And that BBQ was the beginning of their demise.

The farmer who lived next door noticed the smell _immediately_. Edd may have fancied himself a gourmet chef, but you cannot cover up the smell of burning human flesh with no amount of BBQ sauce and spices.

The police were called. But they found _nothing_.

 _Or so the Vincent-Barr's thought._

What "evidence" they gathered was checked against the evidence of cold cases all over the country. The body of a bar tramp found in Albuquerque had Kevin's fingerprints on her. A kid named Jonny found dead in the parking lot of a dead strip mall in Fresno, was last seen fighting Edd in a local playground. The cops weren't speaking on where they got their leads, but Kevin and Edd _knew_. When the cops came to _pick them up_ , Kevin had concealed his gun in a secret pocket in his jacket that Edd had sewn in it for him.

Because of the sheer amount of news stations that arrived before they did, the cops had to take them to their cruisers in the middle of the cul-de-sac. The car Edd was being taken to was a good 100 feet from Kevin's.

"Hey, Edd!"

Edd turned and grinned, as he brought out a brand new .22 out of his own secret pocket.

And Kevin _melted_.

 _That grin. The secret pocket. The gleam of the .22 in the setting sunlight._

 _It was all so beautiful. Just. Like. Him._

The cops and news reporters _freaked_. They couldn't figure out how they got out of their handcuffs and where they pulled their weapons from.

 _.22 met .357._

 _Ice cold blue met fiery green._

 _"I love you."  
_

 _"Love you more."  
_

"See you in Hell."

"You _first."_

 _BANG!_


End file.
